So this is the first time in awhile I have really felt lost and free at the same time. I have so many things on my mind its unreal,but in a really awesome way.
I feel like those I once held dear to my heart are drifting away out of my life and I don't even think twice to save it. Those who I once would do anything and everything to hold on to are the ones I want out of my life and are willing to do anything to distance myself from them. I feel so distant from a lot of people and I am sacrificing those people in life for things I want to do in my life for myself. I am finally seeing who my real friends are and it's scary. I put so much faith in people and try to see the good in people, yet within in a flash they prove me wrong. I get judged for my actions, for those things that make me happy and quite frankly, I could careless. I feel this is a new start for me in life. For the first time I don't feel like I have to rely on someone else to make me happy, nor do I even want anyone to. I wanna do this chapter on my own. I don't care how many people I piss off in the process, If you are truely my friend it will be proven, and at the end of the day you will be standing strong next to me. I finally feel free enough to make a huge change in my life instead of being stuck in this mold that I have been in for years. I am ready to bust out, take on life, take on struggle, say fuck the world and make my life what it is suppose to be.So many new things are entering my life and it's making me better day by day. I have learned my strong three characteristics are being passionate, driven, and loving. I have realized if I apply those three things to most things I do in life I will get where I want to be, one way or another. If you love your job, you will be more passionate about it and be driven to get where you wanna go. Just as if I love someone I am with I will be passionate with them and be driven to always make it work. It is always fun being adventurous with my mind. I love exposing myself to new things and deep down I always have this huge desire to just GO FOR IT, whatever it should be. I just randomly want to wake up one morning and tell myself I wanna go here or there and just do it. This is probably why I want to travel so much as well as skydive. I am finally doing what I want to do and it is getting me far, maybe no physically, but I am becoming so happy with life it's kind of unreal. Thank you for those who have helped me along the way. You mean a lot, and for new people entering my life, the smiles are amazing(you know who you are;). I hope everyone has a wonderful day.
Thought of the day: I can not catch yawns from mexicans. hmmm who knew.
-AmberG
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