Drools....I want this toy.....

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, braces, surgery, polyester, air conditioning, and medicine.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms... just like we haven't adapted to women's rights, freedom for blacks, cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage would be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be totally destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Every straight couple marries purely for the sake of reproduction. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single or windowed  parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

(One of the saddest parts about our society is that, these arguments, before the humorous common sense, are the real reasons why people can't accept gay marriages.)

If this means nothing to you, take a moment to put yourself not only in my shoes, but the shoes of millions more. You are considered a person not worthy of the legal bond with the person you love. Not only will you never have the beautiful wedding with family and friends that many people dream of since childhood, but you will not share the econimic benefits of living with your partner. No tax deductions, no health benefits. If your loved one is killed in the military overseas, you might never know. It's a sad, fucked up fact that has no cause other than discrimination. Fucking discrimination.

Sometimes you just

I awake today...alone...emptyness lays next to me.Your not here to share this space.I awake. You are the first thing on my mind.How does a person do that to another I ask myself. I close my eyes and invision memories of you, of us.The thoughts are still wondering inside. Where are you? Why are you not here? I will wait. I will wait minutes. I will wait hours. I will wait days.To share my love with you again. I awake. The thought of you in my mind helps me through my day.The thought that I know I will hear your voice at the end of the day.The voice that calms me. The voice that lets me know everything is alright without even mentioning it.I feel safe.I feel loved.I know you care.You say that you want me. I want you.It hurts.The distance,but I know it's worth it.That fact that it seems like I HAVE to talk to you everyday.I need you. I want you.I want to need you.I want to tell you that I love you every single day so in the end I know I have done my part and shared my life and love with someone.Caring for someone.Giving a part of myself to someone I love.Someone I am IN love with.Who I continue sharing my life with. I want this.What is this we sometimes ask. How is it possible to love so deeply that it seems too impossible. I don't care what it is.I want it. I need it. I love it. Wanting someone? Why? Because in the end you have that person to share your memories with,your love with.Someone at the end of the day that really does care how your day has went and not just asking because they feel they have to.Someone who lets you know everything will be ok under the hardest times in your life.I want to be that someone.I know I can be.So is it ok to want someone and need someone .Yes, it is worth it.Because if you truely have these emotions you will see in the end that...That person won't hurt you. That person will be with you until the end..So I want you to know...I want to want you.I want to need you as much as is hurts inside.Its a good hurt.Because I know you will be there... I trust you.. I love you...and I want to say.. thank you for letting me love you.I will always let you love me..

Just came to say Hello.....or whatever.

My name is Amber G**

My birthday is December 2nd.**

And I am 23.**

I have nine tattoos and six peircings.**

I am goldstar lesbian this means I happen to be attracted to girls and only girls, I did not choose this; but I love being gay. I've never tried to be straight,I feel better that I am myself..**


I'm a best friend.**

I am a girlfriend**

I come with the guarantee that if you get to know me, I will change your life in one way or another.**


If you're going to talk to me, use proper English.:-) e.g.: "u r frickn awesum babz call mii l8erz k thnkxxx!" (is weird and not really proper English!)**

When I'm sitting quietly in one place, my body produces 266 watts of electricity.**

That could power 67 iPods.**

In the past few years I have done a 180 and then some. My life has been turned upside down and all around; This has never changed me. I am still here. You still talk about me, don't stop.**


I can be a little bitch that can go off about nothing. But really make me mad and I will tear you down, I've done it before. I call it a "gift",yet it takes A LOT to get me to that point..**


I look up to successful people, because I don't want to end up like most parents. That kind of life would make me crazy.**

I have some great friends, they all keep me entertained. Some just confuse me. but most I can call on when I need a friend.**

For the most part people like me. A few choice people aren't exactly my favorite, and sometimes that is ok.**

I would love to learn german sometime.**

I HEART Tegan and Sara very much.**

I believe in god.**

I heart Burt's Beeswax chapstick..it's the best.**

I am a very shy person when I am around people that I don't really know, OR like.**


Incubus,Rammstein,Vnv Nation,Seether,Papa Roach and Breaking Benjamin are my favorite bands.**

But NOONE beats P!nk, she is my all time fave.**


It's SODA not POP.**

I HATE socks.**

I love to hip hop dance,yet I never feel good enough.**

I recently started to love DDR.**

I think the best part of the song "Ice Ice Baby", is the "word to your mother"part.**

I love to color.**

I LOVE Photography.**

I am the person that would rather have her windows down with the music blaring while burning up,rather then having the windows up and it being cool.**

I have this thing for sporty/artsy girls.**

I find tattoos sexy.**

I am big on gay rights.. if there is a protest. I will be there..**

I love random people**

Tropical Sno is wonderful.**

I realllly love sweet people.**

Rockstar isn't a title, it's an attitude.**

Music is my favorite hobby.**

I do not do drugs. They are bad.**


 I am Really good at cooking, Just Noone knows it.**

Im addicted to Bacon Bits and Chips, I literally could LIVE off them.**

 I want to be an owner of my own Concert Venue.**

 I wish I was still on a softball team.**

 When I get nervous I bounce my leg and keep to myself A LOT.**

 It makes me cringe to step on a crack on the sidewalk.**

 I make really good things out of ducktape.**

 I am always thinking about someone all the time wondering how they are.**

 I make wishes at 11:11.**

 Im the person that is always  tells the jokes and keeps everyone entertained at family gatherings.Regardless of what they are.**

I wont tell someone I love them unless I fully mean it.**

I brush my teeth in the shower a lot.**

I hate body hair.**

I always wanted the Snuggles bear to be real when I was a kid.**

I hate it when I tell a girl she is beautiful and she does not believe me.**

I wipe my eyes atleast 10 times on a towel every time I shower.**

 I hardly ever get dressed directly after a shower.**

 I HATE for the shower certain to be open when noone is in there.**

I shave my legs atleast 3 times a week.**

 I love my hair RIGHT after a shower,if only it could look that awesome when its dry,yet I dislike wet hair.**

I'm addicted to Mt. Dew, but I love apple juice.**

I love to drive.**

I always listen to music when I shower,given the time.**

I wear Aqua Di Gio-Its my scent.**

 I could never live in a room with bare walls.**

If it wasnt for Staind’s "Break the Cycle" or P!nk’s "M!ssundaztood" cds,I would not be here.**

 I have died before,They just revived me after 3 mins.**

I will never take my silver ring off,So dont ask me to.**

.I color coordinate my shirts in my closet.**

I have a wallet not a purse.**

 I heart Joe boxer underwear.**

 I always have to do things in even numbers.**

 I can be really girly when I want to be,dont doubt me.**

 I use to rewrite my papers for school over and over because I would not turn it in messed up.**

 My volleyball number was 17 and my basketball number was 34.**

I dislike peas.**

 I hardly ever say "too" like if someone says I love you, I say I love you"as well".. too is overrated and too much of an automatic response.**

Thats me**

Das vergangene Jahr.

I have had a lot of time on my hands today to think and I have been reflecting on my life in the last year. It is crazy how much has changed. Exactly a year ago from today my girlfriend of 2 years broke my heart, she left me for some girl she met on the internet and my world got turned upside down. I was so heartbroken I didn't know how to move on without her, I knew this time it was actually it. We were done. For someone to go pick a girl up 3 hours away the SAME day she breaks up with her girlfriend of two years, pretty much let me know. I didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to finish the school semester, knowing I would see her there. I didn't want to get a job, I lost a second family as well, not just her. Over the months I learned she cheated on me, not once, but twice. That is what really hurt me, for the ONE person that I trusted with everything in me to hurt me like that, I felt I could no longer trust anyone. She was the one person I felt in my heart that would never betray me that way. As time has passed, I am so thankful this happened. I knew deep down it would happen,but not that unexpected and not at that time. I have moved passed this and as hard as it was to get over her, I did it. Never thought I would. It feels good knowing I don't need her, I don't NEED anyone to rely on to make me happy. Thus began my adventure to find myself. Over the next 8 months we did not talk, did not associate in any way, except to argue about who got what and when I would get my stuff(It took a whole year). This time was the worst for me, I seen her everywhere I went, even 2 hours away, but I appreciate this because it helped me move on, seeing her with her new girlfriend made it sting ten times worse, but it is what I needed. I will always be thankful for this girl in my life, as she helped mold me into who I am. She made me stronger and I will always love her for that. I will always be here for her anytime she needs it, no matter how much she has/will put me through. The only difference is knowing I don't need her to be happy.  I dated a girl after this who meant a great deal to me. Her and her daughter impacted my life more than words can explain. Definitely learned to never date a married woman lol. Things did not work out, which in return hurt me, but I surpassed it as well.  I finally learned how to make myself happy, how not to need anyone at all, within reason. I finished my school semester, I got a good job while living at home, made some really amazing friends and made some great memories. Here I am a year later, in Highland,Il, and even though there has been some traumatic events that has occurred lately, I have never been happier. I have been proven who my real friends are and I am so blessed to have them in my life. I have a great job, and I am no longer stressing(as much) about money and I have met this amazing girl who is changing my life... for the best. I am finally learning to really trust again and she is showing me that not every girl is out to hurt me or F**k me over. I am learning new things day by day and I am getting stronger day by day, even when I do not want to believe it. I am blessed to have this life and I can not wait to see what the next year holds... Thank you everyone who has been standing strong by me everyday.

our relationship is as extreme as something thats really extreme.

I have went through heartache so many times, that I finally just gave up. Letting people in, trusting them, loving them and giving them my all, yet no matter how hard I tried I always was the one who ended up getting hurt. Finally I was free of the pain, of the misfortune of never being "the one". I was completely content with this. Moving on in life with not a care in the world, but to please myself and find myself. Then you entered my life. In such a short time you have made such an impact on my life and who I am becoming. You give me such inspiration to just find life and embrace it with every beat of my chest. To never look back in life, but to move forward. To have dreams and goals and go after them, fight for them, achieve them. I have never met someone so passionate about the one they are with. You give me hope, when I feel like just giving up on small things at the moment. You give me a smile, when I am sad. You calm me down when I am mad and you are the one I want when I don't want to be around anyone else. When I am scared at night, you stay up with me to make sure I feel safe and that means so much. You are my rock during this rough time in my life and I thank you so much for that, because I know I can be super difficult and you are handling it amazingly. I don't know how this happened , nor do I regret any of it and in such a short amount of time, I know exactly what I want and I won't care what people think. I want you by my side for as long as you will have me. You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I can't imagine my life without you. I learn something new from you every single day and it's so refreshing to not be scared for once. I don't wonder if I am good enough for you, I don't wonder if you are finding someone else, if you are lying. For the first time I instantly trust someone 100% and even though it is scary it is amazing. Thank you for opening your heart to me, your life to me and your experiences to me. Thank you for just being you and allowing me to be me, no questions asked. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of your life.... because I lo........ haha just kidding...pshh you really thought....

Hermosa chica

Sólo quiero decir que eres la chica más increíble que he conocido y mesiento muy afortunada de tenerte en mi vida. Gracias por estar siempre ahípara mí, dejar que mi llamada que a altas horas de la noche sólo paraventilación y para tranquilizarme y poner una sonrisa en mi cara. Estoy muy agradecido por tenerte como amiga y no puedo esperar a ver qué depara el futuro.

This is amazing. The END! Get it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khCokQt--l4

For you baby:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRYkePTaeUQ

Stop Stuttering..

So a funny story for the day... It was about 15mins til I was about to get off work and I went to the breakroom to get my soda from the fridge and I saw a girl in a car just waiting outside and didn't think anything of it, so I went back to my department, well here comes 3:00pm and I clock out and walk outside and all of a sudden this same girl comes up to me and says she did not know her boyfriend worked with a female and FLIPPED out on me saying I better never touch her man or she will kick my ass..... needless to say I have NO idea who she was or who the hell her boyfriend even was lol. I just looked at her with this confused look on my face(i'm assuming) and just started busting out laughing. I gave her this what the F**K are you talking about look and said "I'm a huge homo, you nor your man EVER have a chance with me...."..... yup that was MY day.  I have no idea how people could date people like this. Is there no such thing as trust in the world anymore.. Pretty sure If I was dating someone and said to them, "you can't work with other females", I would be single for the rest of my life.lol I have also came to the realization that the mexicans at my work make this food that smells AMAZING. That is all I have for you.

p.s. My girlfriend is pretty much the best EVER.

Speed of Sound.

So I met a new guy at work today and I BELIEVE his name is Ricardo. I want to take the time out and just say I am very happy I met this man today, he is a very nice gentleman and extremely sweet. First he asked what my name was and then introduced himself and followed to apologize for his speech because he got hit by a drunk driver. He had a prosthetic leg, a broke shoulder, and a strong slur to his words, yet he had the most positive attitude I have ever seen anyone have. It made me sit back and think about how I complain about the smallest things in life,(I don't have this or can't do that), yet here is a man who came SO close to losing his life and has to deal with struggles for the rest of his life, because someone made the choice to have a few drinks and drive rather than call a cab or stay somewhere, have such a positive outlook on life. I am thankful I have what I do and need to learn to never take anything in life for granted because It can disappear in a flash. So rather I see this man again or not, for just a slight second of meeting he impacted my life and made me appreciate what I have in my world. Even the smallest seconds of meeting a stranger can have an impact, so be nice to those you don't know, they could turn out to be amazing people.

Are you gonna kiss me or not....

Sorry I have not posted in a few days. This amazing girl decided to surprise me this weekend and stay with me. I just want to tell the world, how amazing she is. There is no words to describe how incredible she really is. She makes me smile just by saying hey, She inspires me to want to be a better person and pursue life like I never have before. She has done so much already and it is breathtaking. Her smile is radiant and I can not help but just tell her how beautiful she is, inside and out. I have been hurt many times in my past as we all have and I have been scared to even remotely allow myself to be this close to someone in sometime, so I stopped trying to look for a relationship or even stopped caring. Through this I have learned I can totally be alright on my own and be happy and for the first time I am truely happy with my life. It is true what they say, stop looking and someone amazing pops into your life and that still holds true to me, with a simple question from one of our friends" Are you a top or a bottom(haha), I met this incredible woman. Having her close to me makes me feel safe like no other and It is the best feeling in the world waking up with her next to me. There will be struggles and obstacles, but it is nice to know I have found someone who is willing to work at it WITH me, just as much as I am. I have been hearing a lot of "What about the little distance?".. My opinion has always been there is MILLIONS of people in this world, who says your heart ends up with someone in the same town.... you can cross paths with someone when you go out of town and they could change your life forever.  There is so many ways to meet people in this world, you just have to be willing to work out at and never be afraid. Stay positive and look at the bright side of things, instead of those that could bring you down. With that said, I won't be scared to go after someone that makes me this happy and all you can do it try... I once heard someone say...Rather you think that you can or can't..your right...

p.s. You are amazing baby.

My hands, they were strong, but my knees were far too weak To stand in your arms without falling to your feet

First off, I have to say music is amazing. It eases the pain as well as make it worse . The best thing you need after a breakup. They always says that the heartbreak is always easier the second time around, well whoever "They" are can go fuck themselves, because they have no clue. Its amazing what a few words coming from someone's mouth can do to a person's soul. "Im leaving". Thats all it takes for your world to be flipped upside down in every which way. It may take hours but once it hits you that it is really happening you don't know what to do with yourself. You try to stay busy with whatever you can find, but its no use. The memories always creep up on you and outta no where. You stay up hours on end just so you can pass out later with no worries of dreams. There is nothing worse than having to think about everything WHILE you sleep as well. For me, The first time this happened I cried for hours and remembered everything I could so I would never lose a memory of this person. The second time its worse, It feels like you don't have any soul. Youpretend to smile just because its makes everyone at ease and I don't wanna bring them down along with me. You don't eat, you can't sleep. You just sit there in your body constantly reminding yourself just to breath. you have no emotion but feeling hurt, feeling regret everything that you seemed to fuck up. Worst, you feel numb. pretending to care what's going on around you, but its just a blur. I have a feeling no matter how many times you give your heart out to someone, it will never get easier. Nothing I write will ever truely matter, its just my way of letting out some sort of feeling I may have or have had. Will it ever be ok?. Who knows. I use to wonder why so many people just tend to not give a fuck anymore and maybe thats the answer. Everyone I talk to says just forget about it and forget relationships. How the hell can you just forget about it? You share your life with the person, you share your family, you make a new life with the person,yet you are just suppose to FORGET. There will never be an answer of how to deal with any of this, you will sometimes be lost for a long time.  "They" were right about one thing, you don't know what you have til you have lost it and the most fucked up thing is, those situations that you DO realize you lost the most amazing thing ever, you never get it back. "Hurr fucking ray" for morals and lessons in life. Life does get better though, you realize down the road, that they were not the person for you and everything does make sense. I have learned that sometimes this takes a very long time and even in the most hurtful situations you are thankfully everyday for that person, you realize you are stronger than ever and you take your past and apply it to who you are and what you have become. Take it with you everyday and be proud of what you have become and learn to be a better person day by day. Live, love, laugh...and forgive, they made you who you are... so to you.. I say Thank you.

10 things we do when we are drunk...

Have you ever noticed that when you are drunk, every idea that creeps into your cloudy, convoluted brain is the best idea you have ever had? With that in mind, I give you the top 10 things people are willing to do while drunk:

10. Drink more. It seems that the drunker we get, the lower our ability to recognize our "cut off" point. This seems to happen most frequently while playing Beer Pong or while someone else's wallet is open with the intention of buying shots.

9. Sing lyrics to complicated songs. Why do we think that we can sputter out the words to Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" after we've tossed back five Red Bull and vodkas when we can't even do it after having five plain Red Bulls? Yeah...

8. Get in fights. This applies to both verbal and physical altercations. We always seem to think that we are the toughest mofo to ever work it when actually we are slurring our speech trying to insult our opponent. So we end up saying "You wanna say thaaa to ma face, bissshhh? I'll kick yaa-asss.....". And then we fall off our stilettos trying to gesticulate wildly in a demonstration of exactly how we are going to kick the bitch's ass.

7. Say ridiculously inappropriate things. This is pretty broad spectrum but it happens everytime because we always wake up the next day and go "What the f*ck did I say?". For example, you are at the family reunion and you've had a bottle of cabernet in an attempt to numb out the incessant questioning about when you are going to meet someone decent to marry. You then turn to your MOTHER and tell her that you haven't had sex in 517 days. Because hey, mom's cool like that, right?

6. Show overly exaggerated expressions of affection. Of course, everyone within arms reach wants to know not only that you love them, but exactly how much you love them.

"Man, I love you. No no no...you're not hearing me. I LOVE you. I F*CKING LOVE YOU, BRO!" Followed by the hand grab, chest bump, back pat, ass slap...whathaveyou. Repeat eight times before the night is over.

5. Smoke. smokers become chain smokers. We light one cigarette off of the end of the previous one while drunk. Non-smokers all of a sudden find it not only socially acceptable, but cool to pick up a nicotine habit. Not only that, but after spending most of their time lecturing us on reasons to quit smoking, they are now bumming cigarettes off of us. Both groups wake up wheezing and vowing never to smoke again. For the smokers, that vow lasts until 1pm.

4. Dance. When not drunk, there are people who are willing to dance and people who are not. When we are drunk, everyone is Michael Flatley: Lord of the Dance. We become a Bud Light clenching version of Napolean Dynamite. The non-dancers start to conquer a whole new area of life that was previously unavailable. As if they are spelunkers discovering a new diamond mine. The real dancers now have "dance offs" where the floor becomes a lame ass version of Michael Jackson's "Beat It" video. Without fail, someone cries because a drunk fool thinks that their three years of tap at Miss Molly's Dance Academy in Idaho qualifies them for a dance off in the middle of CroBar. End of dance off.

3. Make out with strangers. The beer goggles set in four beers ago. You are pondering why Stella Artois has been being brewed in the same tradition since 1366. You get nudged (or hipchecked) by the stool (or tool) next to you. They appear to resemble Angelina Jolie/George Clooney. The making out ensues. Twenty minutes later, one of you does the obligatory "I just need to go to the bathroom." Goodbye forever...

2. Eat unbelievably gross foods. Foods you would never eat, foods that are unacceptable for consumption, foods in revolting combinations. You stumble home after complete pollution and boy are the munchies calling to you. You dig through the cabinet and really don't feel like boiling pasta or baking cookies. So you prepare yourself a plate of enchiladas. Except that the enchiladas contain: olives, potato chips, lima beans, Hidden Valley Ranch dressing and a shredded Polly-O string cheese. Oh and since there are no tortillas in the kitchen, you substitute with slices of Canadian bacon. Buon appetito!

And the number one thing that everyone is willing to do when they are drunk....

1. DRUNK DIAL!!! It is an unspoken fact that our ex-lovers secretly are dying for us to call them at 4:00am and ramble incoherently into their voice mail. Everyone knows it. Seriously though, this is never a good idea. Regardless of your state of inebriation, never ever drunk dial an ex. It always results in booty calls that shouldn't happen or arguements over the fact that they still have your My Little Ponies in their basement. And friends don't let friends drink and dial. K?

This moment keeps on movin, we were never meant to hold on

This planet that we live on has been around for hundreds of millions... if not billions of years right? Humans have been around for.... lets see.... 15000 years tops? maybe 20000? even if it was 100,000 years... we haven't been around for a fraction of the time that the earth has, and on top of that, we have only really been keeping track of regular events like earthquakes and tsunami's for maybe the last 200 years tops? More specifically events wich take place in space in regards to super moons and magnetic fields, solar storms etc. have only seriously been looked into and recorded for at most the last 70 years....  who the hell are we to try and predict the end of the world? I am not a scientist but I think I can say that what is happening is nothing more then a natural cycle in wich this planet goes through and has gone through for years. The buildings we build, the earth we relocate, the garbage we produce, the humans and other species that reproduce; All of these things have a mass and have weight..... just like anything that spins, weather it be your tires on your car... a good golf ball, a turbine in a jet engine, It all has to be balanced to operate properly and without failure. When these things encounter unbalance they operate in ways that are not consistant with the perameters of their known normal daily function and will find ways to rebalance themselves... Think of how many people there are on this planet, all the oil we are pulling out of the ground and consuming, the water we are displacing with boats, and by filling empty oil wells(oil and water have different weights), as well as all the mining we are doing.... I do believe that Ms. Mother Nature is just trying to regain a sense of balance, and the only way it can do that is by the shifting of large masses that are moveable... and that I believe is the entire reason this planet is on tectonic plates, it's a self balancing system... and right now I think the world is very out of balance. These are all things we take for granted in life and don't think about, and even though these things are small  put them all together... thats quite a lot of weight needing to be redistrobuted.... If the world ends it ends.... that my friends is a sad cruel reality of life... but I don't think it will happen in terms of 2012.... The earth has survived far worse than what we have put it through and it is still here.... It's human nature to look for a reason for things to happen... and In My Opinion we are all looking too far into it in hopes that some big phenomenon is responsible for these events... its taken millions of years for the planet to balance itself so far...it could take many more years! You don't need science to figure that one out... just a little common sense and thought....

If we want hell, then hell is what we will have.

In time everyone dies...sometimes it's sooner than later unfortunately. So, for today I wish that people could take themselves out of their shoes and think about how or what they do or even how they act effects the people around them. Because you know what? One day they won't be there. Care for others before yourself, and others will miss you when you're gone. Life is too short to hold grudges, too short to be disrespectful, too short for petty jealousy, to short to not tell your closest friends and family that you love them for who they are. Life's too short to beat around the bush about anything. Be direct, but have tact. One day the person you could care for the most will be gone and perhaps you hadn't told them how much they mean to you. Or perhaps you let something get in the way of a friendship. Guess what? You can't say sorry to a corpse.
And also, beyond that, one day you'll die too. So, right now. Do what you want (within limits of course) live for yourself.Save money and go places, Find something you love and stick with it. Because, if you don't, as you lay dying you just might be thinking "Why didn't I do that? Why did I say that? Why didn't I say that?" And it'll be too late. Another  Resolution? Fight for your right to live.... Live Free or Die Hard, right?

Sweet Fascination..Inspired by you.

This feeling takes over your,mind,body, and everything else. You can not control it, or can you? It's threaded deep inside of you, that sometimes makes people think you are insane. This feeling and emotion makes you do or think things you normally would never consider. It is the beginning for life for most. You rely on it to survive. Hoping the people around you feel it. It can be the end of life for others. You feel it so strongly and when it disappears you don't know how to handle yourself. This feeling gives you the ability to forgive others when they do you wrong.It makes you see the best in someone even when they don't see it themselves. Most people think this is the high achivement in life. Some people take it for granted and use it to hurt others. This emotion can be deceiving and cause pain. Whether you know it or not, it's like another human inside of us. Living deep down. It can be an angel when you properly give it the engery it needs to live. It may also be a demon, when treated improperly. Causing pain,self-infliction of hurt and tears. Everyone has the ability to bring this human like emotion that lives inside of us out. The question is how... Addictions,games,careers,violence, these are how... most would like to think by joining another deep hidden human in another person. How is this thing that lives inside all of us, the thing thats so driven to come out,something to be afraid of? In one way or another all humans are driven in life by this...so why are we afraid? To most this won't make since what so ever, to those who do, don't be afraid , embrace it while you can.....
False receptions that brought on these questions, of truth,love, and hurt. Now that you are injuring, I'll carry you
with me,just please hold on. Loves not a loss, but it's nailed to my heart and crucified all that I held on, to be
waiting, anticipating, a touch such as yours. So much can be said through silence, as hard as it seems, all that we
need is too close to be seen. All of our lies, you built your walls for me to climb, a billion walls for me to die
inside. Mislead, misread, company your companion. I'll stand for nothing less or never stand again...what could we
have known...careful I'm drifting off,now losing taste and touch. I shoved the world away from here, drift to you,
you're all I hear. Life passes by with each breath, yet the monster I once created still stands in my soul. I can't
escape the fact that I love this monster. It creates a part of me,that you inspire. Most people would assume that
this monster is bad,as I let it remain in me,I say no it's not. It creates a part of my soul, it has a soul of its
own and it's my cover, it's my disguise. I would die inside of my head if it was not for this monster. It is life,
it is breath, it is my energy. You inspire this creation. I let myself fall into a lie, no matter how hard I try,
you push so far away, you wrapped your soul tight around my heart and squeezed it full of life. I can't believe the
way you took me down, I never saw the pain,coming in a million broken miles, like poison for my veins. I try to be
the person I suppose I am, in times of broken love,shattered dreams and plans. Standing up to fight, pleasure is in
demand. Staring at the knife, I hold in my hand. I look in the mirror and see you staring back at me. I take a deep
breath, put it back down, and move on... I would give up forever cause I know you can feel me. Every emotion that
flows through my heart,you can see in a glance of my eyes,a single tear that falls from my soul.Someone who sees so
clearly,not knowing what is best. Faces seem to blur,they are all the same. I look down my path, drink to what has
faded, hoping one day I will see that silhouette of my life come back into play, I hold this mask I bare over my
soul...until then, All Remains The Same...

-AmberG

"You can't blame me", Says the singer of the song Or the maker of the movie which he based his life on

So this is the first time in awhile I have really felt lost and free at the same time. I have so many things on my mind its unreal,but in a really awesome way.

I feel like those I once held dear to my heart are drifting away out of my life and I don't even think twice to save it. Those who I once would do anything and everything to hold on to are the ones I want out of my life and are willing to do anything to distance myself from them. I feel so distant from a lot of people and I am sacrificing those people in life for things I want to do in my life for myself. I am finally seeing who my real friends are and it's scary. I put so much faith in people and try to see the good in people, yet within in a flash they prove me wrong. I get judged for my actions, for those things that make me happy and quite frankly, I could careless. I feel this is a new start for me in life. For the first time I don't feel like I have to rely on someone else to make me happy, nor do I even want anyone to. I wanna do this chapter on my own. I don't care how many people I piss off in the process,  If you are truely my friend it will be proven, and at the end of the day you will be standing strong next to me. I finally feel free enough to make a huge change in my life instead of being stuck in this mold that I have been in for years. I am ready to bust out, take on life, take on struggle, say fuck the world and make my life what it is suppose to be.So many new things are entering my life and it's making me better day by day. I have learned my strong three characteristics are being passionate, driven, and loving. I have realized if I apply those three things to most things I do in life I will get where I want to be, one way or another. If you love your job, you will be more passionate about it and be driven to get where you wanna go. Just as if I love someone I am with I will be passionate with them and be driven to always make it work. It is always fun being adventurous with my mind. I love exposing myself to new things and deep down I always have this huge desire to just GO FOR IT, whatever it should be. I just randomly want to wake up one morning and tell myself I wanna go here or there and just do it. This is probably why I want to travel so much as well as skydive. I am finally doing what I want to do and it is getting me far, maybe no physically, but I am becoming so happy with life it's kind of unreal. Thank you for those who have helped me along the way. You mean a lot, and for new people entering my life, the smiles are amazing(you know who you are;). I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Thought of the day: I can not catch yawns from mexicans. hmmm who knew.

-AmberG

First Blog in awhile.

Hey whats up, So I have not blogged in a very long time and figured I would give it another go. I use to blog all the time, for no reason other than I like expressing how I feel about many things, even if no one reads about it. It gives me a peace of mind to just put my thoughts to a piece of paper(or shall I say, words to a blog page). Thats why I am here... no other reason then to just express how I feel about everyday things in my life. I will write about random subjects and I hope you enjoy. The first thing I will post is something I wrote about a year ago to try to understand why people are the way they are and how to still be confident in who I am without caring what people think of me, to take on the world with no regrets what so ever. Some people have read this and others haven't. It's something I am decently proud of if I do say so myself....

Let me enlighten you...

A time will come in your life where you suddenly realize no matter what you do, your days will always fit under the definition of pure chaos.

Every little thing you do, will always bother someone somewhere, so don't waste precious time trying to morph into someone else. All your "peers" will label you no matter how unique you may be, they will always find something to categorize you as.

You will grow up with friends, making more along the way, as you lose some.

You will go through pointless dramatic moments.

You will devote yourself to someone, and they will become a part of your soul, eventually they will blindside you and leave you alone so sudden, you will feel like a ghost, barely in existance. The mere mention of their name will make you feel as if your organs are being ripped to shreds. Everytime you try to explain the feeling to someone, you can't. Though there is thousands of ways, you can't find the words.

Your hobbies, your clothes, your opinions,your mind will change too many times to count.

Your trust will be shattered time and time again until you finally realize you can never depend on another human but yourself.

You will be engulfed with dissapointment in people you had so much faith in.

You will be weak.

But... trust me, all you need is an ounce of hope to grow into something so much bigger.

You will begin a journey to self-discovery.

You'll spend your nights wondering why certain things happened to you, and eventually you'll drown in self pity. 

Whether you want to admit it or not. 

Working your heart raw everyday, to make your life appear easy or close to "perfection".

Everyday you will feel your mind open up, and metamorphosis  into  something viciously  beautiful.

You will BEGIN your life.

I assure you, when you get there, 

you will realize it was all worth it.

The worst days of your life will become the best, in a way.

The past can only hurt you if you let it. 

No excuses,no regrets.

Just you, and a world full of opportunity.

Envision the world 

 with wisdom and  give your subconscious mind the space to expand and explore.

Remember all the words you just read, let them process in your mind, and find that ounce of hope,so you can...

Awaken your life.

&

Begin your future

-AmberG